What makes grief an emotion

I think western society teaches us that grief is about being sad. Or, it's about being depressed. But, grief is actually a spectrum -- a real plethora of emotions. So, grief is about anger. Those uncomfortable emotions. All of these things are a part of your narrative and a part of how you get to the story of who you are and how you are. Grief covers a whole range of emotions and an entire spectrum of the human experience.

A grieving person may also become more irritable or aggressive. Other common behaviors include restlessness and excessive activity. Grief and loss may also cause a person to question his or her faith or view of the world. Each person experiences grief in a different way. Often, a person feels grief in waves or cycles. This means there are periods of intense and painful feelings that come and go.

People may feel they are making progress with their grief when they are temporarily feeling less grief. But then, after some time, they may face the grief again.

Such changes in grief may occur around significant dates, such as holidays or birthdays. Over time, some people experience these grief cycles less frequently as they adjust to their loss. There are different theories about how a person adjusts to loss. One widely accepted model describes 4 tasks of mourning:.

The cause of death. For example, the grieving process may differ depending on whether the person died suddenly or was ill for a long time.

The grieving process is often harder when the person has unresolved feelings towards or conflicts with the person who has died. People who are struggling with complicated grief may find it helpful to talk with a counselor. This may include a clinical social worker, psychologist, or spiritual counselor.

Although each person's grief is unique, the experience is shaped by his or her society and culture. Each culture has its own set of beliefs and rituals for death and bereavement. This affects how people experience and express grief. The way a person experiences and expresses grief may be at odds with his or her own culture. Some people may consider it inappropriate to grieve for a work colleague, classmate, or neighbor, for example. As a close friend or same-sex partner you may be denied the same sympathy and understanding as a blood relative.

This can make it even more difficult to come to terms with your loss and navigate the grieving process. The pain at a significant loss may never completely disappear, but it should ease up over time. Complicated grief usually arises from the death of a loved one , where the loss has left you stuck in a state of bereavement.

The pain of grief can often cause you to want to withdraw from others and retreat into your shell. But having the face-to-face support of other people is vital to healing from loss. Comfort can also come from just being around others who care about you.

The key is not to isolate yourself. Turn to friends and family members. Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. They may feel unsure about how to comfort you and end up saying or doing the wrong things. Draw comfort from your faith. If you follow a religious tradition, embrace the comfort its mourning rituals can provide. Spiritual activities that are meaningful to you—such as praying, meditating, or going to church—can offer solace.

Join a support group. Grief can feel very lonely, even when you have loved ones around. Sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can help. To find a bereavement support group in your area, contact local hospitals, hospices, funeral homes, and counseling centers, or see the links below.

Talk to a therapist or grief counselor. If your grief feels like too much to bear, find a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving. Social media can be useful in letting others know about your loss and reaching out for support. However, it can also attract Internet trolls who post inappropriate, insensitive, or even abusive messages.

To spare yourself additional pain and heartache at this time, you may want to limit your social media use to closed groups rather than public postings that can be commented on by anyone. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.

Face your feelings. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process.

Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety , substance abuse, and health problems. Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Or you could release your emotions by making a scrapbook or volunteering for a cause related to your loss. Try to maintain your hobbies and interests. Look after your physical health. The mind and body are connected. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising.

Authors: Melinda Smith, M. American Psychiatric Association. Depressive Disorders. Zisook, S. Grief and bereavement: What psychiatrists need to know. World Psychiatry, 8 2 , 67— Stroebe, M. Health outcomes of bereavement. The Lancet, , — Simon, N. Informing the symptom profile of complicated grief. Depression and Anxiety, 28 2 , — Corr, C.