Why does it physically hurt when you miss someone

Part of the intensity behind missing someone often comes from the fear that they will forget us, or realize that they can live without us. Even just knowing that will help massively!

Try yoga, or sound baths; go for long walks; even working up a sweat in the gym can be a form of mindfulness. If the person you miss is an ex, you can get so caught up in the breakup that the rest of your life kind of merges into one big ranting, crying session. See friends, go for a run, visit a museum — even watching a funny film not a rom-com can help keep your mind off those negative, all-consuming thoughts. Not necessarily in terms of how much you miss them and how horrific the loss is, but in terms of sharing happy memories and celebrating their life and how much you love them.

It may be hard to talk about them and may even be too raw at first, but the more you open up, the easier it will become and the less painful it will get over time. Scientists do not know, but recently pain researchers uncovered a possible pathway from mind to body. According to a study from the University of Arizona and the University of Maryland, activity in a brain region that regulates emotional reactions called the anterior cingulate cortex helps to explain how an emotional insult can trigger a biological cascade.

During a particularly stressful experience, the anterior cingulate cortex may respond by increasing the activity of the vagus nerve—the nerve that starts in the brain stem and connects to the neck, chest and abdomen. When the vagus nerve is overstimulated, it can cause pain and nausea. Heartache is not the only way emotional and physical pain intersect in our brain.

Reent studies show that even experiencing emotional pain on behalf of another person—that is, empathy—can influence our pain perception. And this empathy effect is not restricted to humans. In a paper published in Science revealed that when a mouse observes its cage mate in agony, its sensitivity to physical pain increases.

And when it comes into close contact with a friendly, unharmed mouse, its sensitivity to pain diminishes. Coan implicated several brain regions involved in both anticipating pain and regulating negative emotions, including the right anterior insula which helps to regulate motor control and cognitive functioning , the superior frontal gyrus which is involved in self-awareness and sensory processing and the hypothalamus which links the nervous system to the endocrine system.

Why do we make all sorts of art about lost love — and of finding it again? Writer Edna St. I miss you like hell. Some people get drunk. Some people go looking for any sex they can find. Some people gamble. Others use all sorts of recreational drugs. It deadens the voice. It temporarily kills the feelings. Afterward, I feel shame for giving in to eating something that I know will make me feel terrible, make me gain weight, zap my energy, destroy my ability to sleep, deaden ambition and cause my joints to hurt.

I know I will. About Podcasts DavidMcElroy. What do I need?